Caring through loss: How aged care nurses navigate grief
An article written by Dr Michelle Stubbs, Program Convenor Bachelor of Nursing, University of Newcastle
Grief is often seen as something that belongs to families and friends. But what about the nurses who care for people in their final days? In residential aged care facilities (RACFs), registered nurses (RNs) form deep, long-term relationships with residents. When a resident dies, it’s not just a professional event—it’s personal. We recently completed a study that shines a light on this often-overlooked experience. Through interviews with nine RNs working in RACFs in New South Wales, the study explored how nurses experience grief and loss, and how they cope with the emotional toll of repeated exposure to death.
Grief that builds over time
Unlike hospital settings where care is often short-term, aged care nurses may support residents for months or even years. This continuity fosters strong emotional bonds. When a resident dies, it can feel like losing a family member. And when deaths happen frequently, the grief can accumulate—what researchers call ‘cumulative grief’. Some nurses described feeling overwhelmed, especially early in their careers. One participant shared how their first experience of a resident’s death left them feeling ‘very sad and empty’. Over time, many nurses reported becoming more emotionally resilient—but not immune. Even experienced RNs said that sudden or traumatic deaths could still shake them.
Finding strength in rituals and relationships
Despite the emotional challenges, nurses in the study showed remarkable resilience. They used a variety of coping strategies: mindfulness, prayer, talking with colleagues, and even watching TV to unwind. Many found comfort in spiritual beliefs or cultural practices, such as lighting candles or opening windows to ‘let the spirit out’. Workplace rituals also played a powerful role. Guards of honour, memorial services, and shared moments of remembrance helped nurses and residents alike process loss. These rituals created space for grief and honoured the lives of those who had passed.
The hidden grief of nurses
One of the most striking findings was how often nurses felt they had to suppress their grief. With busy workloads and professional expectations, many felt they didn’t have time—or permission—to grieve. This ‘disenfranchised grief’ isn’t always recognised or supported, which can lead to burnout and emotional fatigue. Supporting grieving families added another layer of complexity. Nurses often felt unsure of what to say or how to help, especially when families were in denial or struggling to accept the death.
What can be done?
The study highlights the need for structured support systems in aged care. Nurses called for more debriefing opportunities, access to employee assistance programs, and education on grief and loss—especially for new graduates. Mentorship and peer support were also seen as vital. Ultimately, the research calls for a cultural shift. Grief should not be hidden or rushed. Instead, organisations should create environments where nurses feel safe to express their emotions and are supported in doing so.
Why this matters
As Australia’s population ages, more people will spend their final years in RACFs. Supporting the emotional wellbeing of the nurses who care for them is not just a kindness—it’s essential for quality care. By acknowledging and addressing nurses’ grief, we can build more compassionate, resilient aged care environments for everyone.
Author
Dr Michelle Stubbs
Program Convenor Bachelor of Nursing
University of Newcastle