Talking about serious illness
When someone is ill, the whole family is affected. Children will know that something is going on. The challenge for adults is to provide children and teenagers with information that is honest, timely and appropriate to their age and situation. Make time to talk with them and listen to what they are asking and what they are saying.
General guidance on talking to children can be found on the Canadian Virtual Hospice and from the help starts here website. The Marie Curie Cancer Centre has information to help children and young people who are experiencing serious illness or loss in the family.
Many of the organisations for specific diseases have sections for children that are helpful. It is always important to check out these websites beforehand to see what conversations or questions may follow.
Talking about death and dying
If someone with a serious illness is deteriorating, questions from children about death and dying may then follow. It is difficult to know how much information to give children about death, or to know how much they understand. The National Institutes of Health have developed a guide Talking to children about death that provides helpful information.
The Children and Young People's Bereavement Centre has information and resources that can be used with young people aged 5 to 17 years who have been through the experience of a close family member dying from a terminal or long-term illness. These resources include information sheets and story book lists.
This is a difficult time. Information on depression and anxiety, and how to find various forms of support can be found on the Youth Beyond Blue site. This may be useful if children or teenagers appear not to be coping with what is happening. This website also gives phone helpline numbers for parents, families and kids.
Kidsline is a 24 hour telephone and online counselling service for young people between the ages of 5 and 18.
After the death
The NYU Child Study Centre has information about children attending funerals and memorial services.
The National Cancer Institute in America has comprehensive information on children and grief. including their developmental stages and what they understand.
Information for teenagers about death and grief is available on the Reach Out website.
Palliative Care Australia has a resource called Journeys – palliative care for children and teenagers which has sections on 10 rights for grieving children, notes for grieving children and teenagers, and help for the holidays. There is also information from the Journeys kit for teachers on ‘dealing with grieving children in your class’
The Children, Youth and Women's health service in SA has produced a page Aboriginal kids grieve too to support indigenous families.
This page was created on 26 March 2007 and is due for review in March 2009
Page last updated 24 August 2007