Learning that someone you know has a terminal illness can be confronting. It may make you think about your own life and how you will one day face the thought of dying. You may also be worried about what to say and what not to say. You may feel uncomfortable being with someone who is obviously unwell. If you have already experienced the loss of a loved one this may affect how you are feeling now.

You need to remember that there is no proper or right thing to say. Being there and being willing to listen is the most important thing you can do. The Cancerbackup website has a section on Talking to someone with cancer which provides information on how to help and support them. The Hospice Net website provides some advice on Helping a friend who is dying.

Over time you may find that you will talk about different things. As their illness progresses, they may talk less or find it difficult to have people come and visit. The disease or treatments for the disease may change their mood or personality. Don't take things personally and remember that the carer may still need company and support. The Capital Health website provides an outline of some of the changes that may happen and how to continue to be involved in The Final Journey.

It can also be difficult when somebody has died. It is important to acknowledge what has happened and to not try and ignore it.

 

This page was created on 26 March 2007 and is due for review in March 2009