If you are providing the main care for a seriously ill person you may feel that you have less energy and vitality. You may not be able to function physically as well as usual, and may have greater psychological and emotional distress than other people of similar age and sex.

You may find you have reduced physical functioning because of the heavy nursing demands in caring for the patient. In these circumstances, you may find your diet is poor or inadequate and you have lost general fitness due to lack of exercise. You are also likely to be getting less sleep particularly if you are caring for your spouse. Research has found spouses can spend up to 100 hours or more caring for a seriously ill person.

How caregiving can affect people
As well as having less time to look after yourself, carers often suffer from depression and anxiety as well as emotional distress at the impending loss of their loved one.

Anxiety can be worsened by poor understanding of the course of the illness and inadequate communication with the health professional team. You may feel anxious because you do not understand what you need to do or how to do it.

Depression that begins during a caregiving period, if not diagnosed and treated, can lead to long-term psychological ill health that can take many years to recover from. This can be seen as a grief reaction rather than depression. It is important you continue with good healthcare habits during this time of caregiving to help you now and to protect your future wellbeing.

How to Look After Yourself

• Physical: It is important you have sufficient people helping you care so that you have regular quality sleep, regular meals with healthy food and exercise.
• Mental: Take time out to do other things. Try to do at least one activity each week - it might be sporting, craft or artistic.If you don’t already do so, you may wish to set aside some quiet time each day to clear your mind. Some people find meditation useful while others use music or prayer. Working in the garden or walking may also help.
• Emotional: Take time away from the home / bedside to be with your family and friends. It can become part of the daily life such as a walk, a coffee / film break once a week or simply sharing time in one another's lounge or kitchen. If you do not have close friends or people to support you, talk to your doctor or someone from the healthcare team.
• Humour:Cultivate humour even in the dark times – use a video or DVD to help you. One or two hours of unrestrained laughter each week helps our biochemistry and strengthens our immune system.
• Alcohol: Take care with the use of tobacco, alcohol and other recreational drugs as they can make you feel more anxious and more depressed.

This page was created on 26 March 2007 and is due for review in March 2009