Often following a death, people spend time to reflect on and to acknowledge the person’s life. It is nice to think that those who have died still have a voice, a story, or a connection that remains behind with those who love them.
There are different ways in which to remember the person who has died. Although sadness and loss will still be there, it is important to remember and share happy moments also.
There are many ways this could be achieved, including:
- A remembrance service or celebration of life (many hospice or palliative care services and some hospitals, hold memorial services)
- A memory box or scrap-book
- A framed photo of happy times
- A candle lit in their memory
- A tree or plant in their memory
- A CD of their favourite music
- A letter written to them to express feelings
- A bench or plaque dedicated in their memory.
Christmas and anniversaries can be difficult, especially if it is the first one after the death. Some people consider not celebrating as a sign of respect, while others want to celebrate as a way of honouring the memory of the person who has died.
Allowing feelings of grief, sadness, anger, loneliness or emptiness for a time is needed. Also realise that it is alright to feel moments of happiness and joy; this is not disrespectful to the loved one who has died, it is a reflection of the need for the living to keep on living.
Recovery following the death of someone can take time. There is no right amount of time to grieve. Each person will take as much time as they need.
If someone is having trouble with their grief, they can talk to their GP. Support groups, finding someone special to talk with, or even formal bereavement counselling may help.
Resources
Related CareSearch pages
Grief and sadness
Grief and loss resources
Children and grief and loss
Loss of a child
This page was created on 26 May 2009 and is due for review in May 2011*