The Hard Thing About Being Cared For

It is hard being seriously ill. There are a lot of things to come to terms with. You may feel that you are losing control over situations and decisions.

You may find it difficult to cope with how life is changing. You may need time to adjust to the changes. You may have to rely on other people for things that you used to be able to do.

You may worry that you are making a lot of work for your carer. You may have concerns about the cost of being cared for. All of this can cause anxiety. There are information and resources that can help.

When someone is dying, the thought of losing mobility and of being bed-bound may cause concern. You may prefer to have your family members perform your personal care or you may prefer others to do it.

Many people say they are worried about being a burden. But carers will often say it brings them satisfaction to care. They can feel that they have grown through the experience.

If you are not as active as you were before you may be able to do things that require less energy. This can include leaving a legacy. This has been found to give people dignity and lessen depression.

You could create a legacy of photographs, personal treasures, video or written material. You could pass on lessons you have learned. You might like to write letters or a document. You can pass on insights, value and wisdom in this way.

Talk with your health professionals about your options. This will help you to retain as much independence and for as long as possible.



  • Joanne Lynn's book 'Handbook for Mortals' may be helpful. It has sections on enduring and changing and being prepared for end-of-life decisions. 

Last updated 16 July 2020