Holding hands in the dark: Unburdening a child whose sibling has died

Despite compelling evidence of the effects of loss in childhood on our mortality in adulthood, there are many compounding and confounding factors to consider in these studies, particularly in the area of sibling loss. Many questions remain about what conditions allow some children whose siblings have died to thrive following their bereavement, while others suffer increased lifelong vulnerability. There has also been little attention to how to mediate these negative impacts in practical terms. It is this mediation in the aftermath of death, and in particular our responses to children who have lost a sibling, that this paper considers, in the hopes of addressing the unnecessary hurt that can cause this almost unbearable happening to fester and debilitate. The paper focuses on a summary of the small body of literature on sibling loss, and through an auto ethnographic methodology that draws from personal and professional life, provides some guiding principles for families, friends and the community, for supporting children who have lived with the death of a sibling. This presentation is based on a book chapter in an anthology on sibling loss, currently in press with Interactive Publications