Whether as a parent, other family member or friend, talking to children about serious illness and about dying and death is difficult. It may seem easier not to burden them. Unfortunately children and teenagers need to face what is happening. They may become more anxious if they feel secrets are being kept from them.

The challenge for adults is to provide children (4 years and over) and teenagers with information that is honest, timely and appropriate to their developmental age and situation. Make time to talk with them. Listen to what they are asking and what they are saying.

Resources

Many organisations have sections for children that are helpful. Some provide information for parents. It is always important to check out these websites beforehand to see what conversations or questions may follow.

Serious Illness

• The Canadian Virtual Hospice has information on talking to children and youth about serious illness
• The Marie Curie Cancer Centre has booklets to support children going through the loss or illness of someone close.

Bereavement

• The UK website Winston’s’ Wish has information on talking to your children about someone who has died
• The US National Institutes of Health website has information on Talking to children about death.

Disease specific

• The Cancer Council of Australia has information on talking to children about cancer
• The MND Association of Victoria  has information Just for Kids
• The Cancer Council of NSW has information on talking to kids about cancer
• The myDr website has information on Dementia: Helping children cope
• MS Australia has a booklet called Has your Mum or Dad got MS?

Support for kids

This is a difficult time. Information on depression and anxiety, and how to find various forms of support can be found on the Youth Beyond Blue site. This may be useful if children or teenagers appear not to be coping. This website also gives phone helpline numbers for parents, families and kids.

Canteen is an Australian organisation for young people living with cancer and provides information and resources that may help. There is also a Cancer Council Helpline.

Kidsline is a 24 hour telephone and online counselling service for young people between the ages of 5 and 18.

Related CareSearch pages

Children and grief and loss
Difficult conversations
Communication tips
Loss of a child
 

This page was created on 26 May 2009 and is due for review in May 2011*