When You Are Seriously Ill

When you have a serious illness, many things change. Experiencing complicated feelings and emotions is not unusual. This is normal and is part of what is happening to you.

Some feelings are related to sadness, and some feelings are a result of physical discomfort and perhaps pain. It is helpful if you can try to recognise what is causing the feelings. Health professionals can help with pain and any symptoms that are causing distress.

Some of these feelings and emotions will be overwhelming. This can affect how you are feeling, and can in turn affect how you adjust to the changes that are happening. All of this can be frustrating, and sometimes scary. This may cause some difficulty in functioning as normal. While these feelings of being overwhelmed are not unusual, if you can't function you should seek help.

A sense of loss or spiritual pain can create intense feelings which may be of a kind never experienced before. Talking with someone loved and trusted is helpful. When a person is very ill they will sometimes say that it makes them focus more on the important things in life, such as spending time with family and friends. This may be the time to do the things that you have always been planned.

Dealing with the feelings and emotions of others
Not everyone is comfortable talking about death and dying. Friends and family may worry about causing you upset or distress. They may not want to get upset in front of you.

Family and friends may be experiencing difficult emotions, and have to make their own adjustments. They may be very sensitive to what you are feeling. They may worry if they seem not to be coping with what is happening. Often it is really important for families and friends to share their emotions with the person who is dying even though this may be difficult.

It is also understandable if it is uncomfortable to talk about things with family. Some people find someone outside the family, a friend or professional person easier to talk to.

Resources

The Cancer Council of Australia has a website with information on dealing with family.
Joanne Lynn's book Handbook for Mortals provides useful and caring advice and support. This book is available on the web and can be read easily in sections.

This page was created on 26 May 2009 and is due for review in May 2011