There is no proper or right thing to say. Being there and being willing to listen is the most important thing that someone can do.
Learning that someone has a terminal illness can be confronting. It may make people think about their own life and how they will one day face the thought of dying. People can also be worried about what to say and what not to say. It can feel uncomfortable being with someone who is obviously unwell. For those who have already experienced the loss of a loved one this may affect how they are feeling now.
As an illness progresses, people who are very ill may talk less or find it difficult to have people come and visit. The disease or treatments for the disease may change their mood or personality. Don't take things personally and remember that the family carer may still need company and support.
It can also be difficult when somebody has died. It is important to acknowledge what has happened and to not try and ignore it.
Resources
Related CareSearch pages
Family carer coordinating role
Communication tips
Difficult conversations
Social support
This page was created on 26 May 2009 and is due for review in May 2011